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5 STEPS TO DATING FOR GUYS

7/19/2014

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This is more of a 5 Steps to Getting Her to Become More Interested in You, but that was too long for a title. Look, have you been through many relationships and couldn't find out what the girl was really looking for?  Or have you not really been past a few dates with the girl you liked a lot, or had to settle on someone you were not that attracted to because of loneliness?  If so, these 5 things will set you in a new direction toward a new dating life.  This is not a gimmick or a trick, this is a list of 5 things that will make you more attractive to prospective dates.  No miracle matchups here, just sound advice that will help you out in life

1:Be Interesting.  Whatever you do, be interesting, make your life more interesting to women. In other words, you can't spend all day doing dull things and expect women to take an interest in you.  Don't sit behind the Xbox all day or stay in your fishing boat 18 hours a day and expect to meet women.  There are women who enjoy the same things you enjoy, but you need a variety  of activities to hold a woman's interest, to show them how well rounded you are.  Being interesting goes beyond your activities, it also includes your conversation and social skills.  Women need to be listened to and you know what else they like?  To have a two way conversation.  Now, if you are the interesting guy who is the silent brooding type, you may be able to listen more than converse because that's what makes you interesting, but everyone has to engage in some way to show your personality.  If this is someone new, by all means don't show everything you have all at one time, that would be like a train at the end of the rail line stopping, like you will see in #3 you want the line to appear to keep going.  

2. Be Attractive.  Now don't close this blog yet!!  If you think your lack of good looks is the problem, there is more to attractiveness to women than how handsome you are, although if you are handsome, it makes it a little easier.  I almost listed this as #1, because many times your looks get you noticed, and logically if you don't get noticed you can't show how interesting you really are.  However, I did list this as #2 because in the end it's not the main thing that will win her over.  Have you ever seen a guy with a beautiful lady and thought that you were better looking than the guy she was walking around with?  He was probably very interesting.  But something attracted her to him in the first place.  Being attractive includes your looks, your clothes, your ride, many things.  What kind of style do you have right now?  Look at your hair, your closet, what's going on in that area?  Women like guys with nice haircuts.  You can have long or short hair or no hair, but it has to fit you, your personality, and your head.  I hear more comments about hair than anything else.  Your clothes need to be stylish but that style is for you and for what fits your life.  Do you like suits?  Make sure it fits well.  Like tees?  Check for holes, neck stretches, and mustard stains, any of those are bad.  You can make any thing look good on you, just don't look like you crawled out from under a rock.  Scruffy:good, Stinky:bad.

3. Have Prospects.  This could be called "What you have going on". So, what do you have going on in your life?  Do you have a job? A house?, A car?, Money?  Believe it or not, you can have some fine dates without any of those things, if you are strong in #1 and #2, but those can only bring you so far.  Women want a man who can provide for them and create a family for them for the long haul.  In the beginning of a relationship, this is subliminal, they may not even be considering this in their mind, but believe me, it is in the back of their mind even before you go out.  You may not have a job, but as long as you have some plan to get one, whether through education, or your union, or whatever, if it's truly your desire to work, and acquire some wealth, this is positive.  Share your dreams and future plans with her.  Sharing with her will further secure the bond between you. Even if her plans don't match yours, her respect for you knowing you have a purpose in life will deepen your relationship. Also if you have those a great job, a snazzy car, and lots of cash, use it to go places and do more interesting things. (see #1).  Just don't brag about how well off you are.  Gals may not like that.

4.  Be Kind.  This means be kind to her, her family, her friends, but also be kind to your contacts also.  Show her what you are made of inside.  I am not talking about being fake here, really show her your best side.  Do you find you say socially awkward things and regret saying them after?  Work on that.  Do you volunteer at charities or go to church?  This may be a shared interest with her.  But this should be more for you and filling out your personal life than meeting a criteria to make you more date-able.  Another note:  If you have voids in your life as described above, don't wait, fill them now, this is important for you to be the best you can be, but don't expect to work on this as you meet women and expect to become a couple.  In other words if women see you as kind first and above all else, and not interesting, you will forever be relegated to being a "friend".  If you are looking for a date, this is not where you want to be.  The female wants a kind male because of the nurturing instinct we have.  It goes back to family, if something happens to me, will my spouse be loving to the children.  This is in the mind of women all the time.  But entering the relationship is not usually based on this.  In the animal world, females often pick males by their various courting rituals performed.  Depending on the animal, this could be a color of feather, body size, antler width, or even how many times it turns left in a dance.  But humans pick relationship partners by other standards, and in modern society, men mainly pick the female to ask out based in large part on their attractiveness, then women respond in large part by this list.  Don't look too deep at this one beyond the kindness described above.  It is mostly about what order kindness is placed in this list, to keep out of the "friend zone".  Because once you're in, it's hard to dig out.

5.  Be Fun.  I have debated where to put this one.  7 out of 10 ladies asked what attracted them to their spouse answered " personality ".  I can bet it wasn't a bad personality they were attracted to.  In fact most women who have been married for many years agree their husbands are, despite their flaws, fun and funny, or they make them laugh, or we have a good time.  So in the long term this would probably be number one,  but to a prospective date, while important, might not be as important as some of the others listed.  Show your fun where you can.  Don't overuse humor though, you look like you are trying too hard.  Some folks are naturally funny and can be the life of a party, and if so , this is a gift, use it, not just for getting to know women, but in other aspects of life.  If you fall short in the looks or even in the interest departments, being a barrel of laughs can prop you up and at least open the door at times so ladies can see your other qualities.  If you don't possess a story for every occasion or even a dry wit, being fun can sometimes crossover into other categories.  Showing your skills at a sporting event could make her think "fun" while also showing your interesting side.  Helping with a children's fair could show "fun" and "kind" at the same time.  

Each and every guy out there has the skills and personality for this.  Above all be honest with her, because players and fakes will be revealed, and more importantly, be honest with yourself.  Following these guidelines will make you more interesting to yourself as well, and even when we are alone with ourselves, it's cool to be alone with a more interesting and fun guy, right?   So what happens after you meet someone and date them?  Where is the list for the next step?  Don't ask me, I'm just a photographer.

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